When I was a young girl, fond of Barbie, Skipper and (begrudgingly) Ken; Strawberry Shortcake; and My Little Pony (particularly for the “hair”, which, incidentally, Ken disappointingly lacked), I thought it’d be wild once I abandoned such folly of saccharine-hued Mattel-dom to some day become a High Powered Executive, largely for all the:
b) Way-cool paraphernalia one could display upon their desk. These trophies of the High Powered Executive symbolizing momentum, viz: click-clacking kinetic balls (again, which Ken disappointingly lacked), dizzyingly diving dolphins, tumbling clowns, and Hellraiser-esque beds of pins that meld to the shape of the High Powered Executives despairing cubical-fevered fez.
In fact, by the early-mid 90s, when Geek met Geekette and my then-future huz and I had united, we both spent a lot of time in stores like The Sharper Image, looking for stuff we’d buy for our desks, if only we one day had jobs. Awwww!
HIGHLY ILLUMINATING CAPTION: Michael Douglas (pointing thattaway with what appears to be a cigarette or nub of Play Doh between his fingers. Both still legal in office spaces in 1987) stars as Gordon Gecko in the hit film Wall Street. To not illustrate my point, there are no desk toys here whatsoever, but Chairman Gecko does have resting upon an occasional table something that resembles a Sunbeam waffle iron. Behold!
SOMEHOW, this was all supposed to end with me talking about ‘momentum’, and inventing an on-the-spot homily that will rock your world, viz:
Moving forward is better than moving backward and moving backward is better than not moving at all, aiight.
And so follows a few vids featuring momentum (which, abandoning its correct definition in terms of physics, I’m hereby loosely interpreting as “moving forward”).
Plaster casts of everything – Liars
Yadnus – !!!
Black gloves – Goose
I used to dance with my daddy – Datarock
Milkshake – Holy Fuck
Okay, even “momentum as moving forward” is very loosely adopted here. Hell, I just wanted to include a vid featuring the wildness that is a scuba-diving cartoon raccoon.
Icky thump – The White Stripes
Dr. Love – The Bumblebeez