Deep down, who doesn’t wish their best pal was a robot? They’d always be there, with cool connections to the NASDAQ, beeping ‘buy’ or ‘sell’ with calm authority. If you’re feeling down, they’d give you a refreshing metallic hug for as long as you like, never getting bored or accusing you of being a ‘taker’. But, the best thing about a robot best friend is they’d never ever try to steal the last of your potato chips or, indeed, the affections of your lover. Yet, if you get a bad egg, they may ditch you for a life in the sun with your solar-powered pocket calculator.
However, for the most part, a robot would be a reliable companion and flatmate: cleaning the house and kitty litter tray uncomplainingly, always remembering important dates (or, more specifically, every date since the universe banged into being), and, best of all, unflinchingly tearing the face off your enemies with mechanical precision.
Moreover, with their vice-grip handshake, you could rest assured knowing that a robotic amigo would also make a trustworthy partner in business.
The only conceivable problem with a robot BFF is you would never ever beat them in a ‘mannequin’ dance-off at the local disco. Unless, of course, you’re the original dancing machine, Michael Jackson, on a 1973 episode of Soul Train (note: he busts into robot moves at around 1 minute 35, with a technique more mind-bogglingly robo-convincing than had robot maid Irona from the Richie Rich comics been tearing up the floor).
Yes, the following vids feature people as robots or robots as robots. Any of these robots as robots I would happily instate to ‘best pal’ status. Well, aside from Mr Roboto in Polysics’ way-kickin’ version of Styx’s ‘Domoarigato Mr Robot’. I think he’s a fellow Scorpio, the moody bastard.
Domoarigato Mr Robot – Polysics
The robots – Kraftwerk