Monthly Archives: February 2007

Vids featuring a drawn-out descent

If, like me, you suffer from vertigo that could rival being perched aloft Kim Novak’s perky bouffant as she dashes up that damn bell tower, then just grip the base of your swivel chair, clamp your feet to the floor, and moderate that shallow breathing as best you can.

Dayvan Cowboy – Boards of Canada
Like a call –
Architecture in Helsinki

Close to me – The Cure

Pure morning – Placebo

Way down – Catherine Wheel

Love in an elevator – Aerosmith

Taste it – INXS



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Vids featuring teamwork or something like it

Teamwork: [Teem-wurk]
– noun

1. cooperative or coordinated effort on the part of a group of persons acting together as a team or in the interests of a common cause.

2. work done with a team.

3. something I purport to know zip-o about as I am an only child (hence charmingly selfish by nature and nurture).

So, like the heading says, the following vids feature teamwork or something like it, be it an eyeball-addlingly spectacular calisthenics… er … spectacular brought to you by Kim Jong-il; Goofy SamaritanismTM brought to you by freshfighting minty confectionery and le Fighters Foo; or simply gathering round to hurl dad out the window, brought to you by crimping irons and/or the eye-watering vapors of spiral perming solution.

I want more part 2 – Faithless

Big me – Foo Fighters

We’re not gonna take it – Twisted Sister

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Vids featuring robots and a potential new best friend

Deep down, who doesn’t wish their best pal was a robot? They’d always be there, with cool connections to the NASDAQ, beeping ‘buy’ or ‘sell’ with calm authority. If you’re feeling down, they’d give you a refreshing metallic hug for as long as you like, never getting bored or accusing you of being a ‘taker’. But, the best thing about a robot best friend is they’d never ever try to steal the last of your potato chips or, indeed, the affections of your lover. Yet, if you get a bad egg, they may ditch you for a life in the sun with your solar-powered pocket calculator.

Be warned.

However, for the most part, a robot would be a reliable companion and flatmate: cleaning the house and kitty litter tray uncomplainingly, always remembering important dates (or, more specifically, every date since the universe banged into being), and, best of all, unflinchingly tearing the face off your enemies with mechanical precision.

Moreover, with their vice-grip handshake, you could rest assured knowing that a robotic amigo would also make a trustworthy partner in business.

The only conceivable problem with a robot BFF is you would never ever beat them in a ‘mannequin’ dance-off at the local disco. Unless, of course, you’re the original dancing machine, Michael Jackson, on a 1973 episode of Soul Train (note: he busts into robot moves at around 1 minute 35, with a technique more mind-bogglingly robo-convincing than had robot maid Irona from the Richie Rich comics been tearing up the floor).

Yes, the following vids feature people as robots or robots as robots. Any of these robots as robots I would happily instate to ‘best pal’ status. Well, aside from Mr Roboto in Polysics’ way-kickin’ version of Styx’s ‘Domoarigato Mr Robot’. I think he’s a fellow Scorpio, the moody bastard.

Domoarigato Mr Robot – Polysics

The robots – Kraftwerk

Hell yes – Beck

Technologic – Daft Punk

Dancing machine – The Jackson 5

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Vids featuring a hot pursuit

There’s nothing quite like a hot pursuit, eh? I know I like to instill a little excitement in my life with an everyday hot pursuit or the illusion thereof, be it:

a) Driving over the speed limit while scoping the “scene” ahead with binoculars and/or an arsenal of high-powered telescopes;

b) Entering the supermarket with an understated air of surveillance, and then ram-raiding people or produce I may consider “suspect” with my shopping trolley;

c) Greeting my beloved huz when he comes home from a hard day at the office with a flying tackle, twin-barrel roll, and intrusive body search if he doesn’t respond to my immediate command of ‘FREEZE, MOTHERFUCKER!’, and;

d) Simply running, leaping, and leopard crawling whenever possible.

In some way, the following vids feature a hot pursuit, be it daleks, downtown LA drug dealers, the whirring boomerang of karma, or merely a handy reservoir in which to pitch rocks.

Doctorin’ the tardis – The Timelords

Sabotage – The Beastie Boys

Karma Police – Radiohead

Ghost Town – The Specials


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Vids featuring fuzzy guitars and a kiss

Around the time these vids came out, if I’d been asked to compile myself a curriculum vitae (and I didn’t need one for working the drive-thru after school at KFC, as I recall) I would have listed my preferred hobbies as:

a) Kissing


b) Listening to anything with way fuzzy guitars, that would (and continues to) send me into jaw-juddering raptures equivalent of the aforementioned a).

The following videos – coincidentally three of my faves – also coincidentally combine a) and b) in either visual content, overall theme, or off-the-cuff mention, in what I can only describe as an algebraic Shangri-la worthy of any pash rash or glandular illness.

Dirty boots – Sonic Youth

Feed me with your kiss – My Bloody Valentine

Blues from a gun – The Jesus and Mary Chain


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Vids featuring the name ‘Mona’

So one of my nicknames is ‘Mona’. A bunny-toothed kid named Jamie made it up in year 8 humanities class and, in some circles, it has stuck like an errant compass.

Here are two songs with the name ‘Mona’ in them. An also-astonishing thematic link is the fact that both vids feature former Neighbours stars with blond hair, one of whom I was professionally photographed with at Australia’s Wonderland in 1987. Well, Mum begrudgingly paid $10 for me to pose with a cardboard cut-out of him, anyway.

One of the songs and its corresponding video is stratospherically shit-awesome, and yet, all things being equal in this yin and yang meets Cheech and Chong universe, the other song and its corresponding video is stratospherically shit-awful.

Fifteen feet of pure white snow – Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Mona – Craig McLachlan & Check 1-2

Note: As an 11-and-a-half year-old who actually took Polaroids of Jason Donovan while he was on the telly – as in, I was standing in front of the TV screen, camera poised – the pure thrill of being photographed with my arm slung over the shoulder of a life-sized cardboard cut-out was almost as great as had Jase really been standing there in Billabong boardshorts and a black Midnight Oil muscle tank top.

Heady, heady times.



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